last night i went to go talk to a friend and my friend looked at me and said, “you look defeated” and thats exactly how i feel. i feel defeated. i think through this God is teaching me a lot. this feeling of not having control has left me with no resort but to trust God. i think this story ends not where i want it to. which is probably why im fighting it, avoiding it. but God’s just been like nope. so here i am. this feeling of helplessness and defeat. no where else to go but my Father. God, give me peace. let me rely fully on you without being forced to, without running into a dead end. this is it and ive learned my lesson. “control is something out of my control”. You are sovereign. and my life, in every aspects needs to be all for you. “I work so hard to
Keep in control when. All that I want is to let go” . im doing my best to release it all to you, but its so hard. its funny how easy it is to release certain parts of my life while other i hold on to so tightly. this isnt how i want it to be. i want to be fully reliant and trusting in You, Father. “You are more than enough for me”. i love you. amen.